dealing with rape.
There is no set guideline of dealing with sexual abuse or being raped.
It often takes years of mistakes, pain and allowing yourself to be in situations that will only further hurt you to realise that you will never get over it.
It’s only when you decide to let it stop controlling you, do you reach a state of where you are most comfortable with yourself again. Maybe then, the dreams will stop, you’ll be able to deal with sexual activity, maybe you’ll even start to understand yourself and love yourself again.
Or maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll just glide through life, rather than comfortable, but comfortably numb.
I’ve found that the only way I achieved comfortably numb was when I accepted it. When I was okay enough to say that I, was raped
you have to be strong
Bullshit, you do not have to be strong, be weak if you want, cry if you need. Hate the world, hate yourself. It’s how you heal. It’s how you learn to cope, to deal, to overcome being raped.
I stopped believing it was something I could get over and started realising it was a part of my life, there’s nothing I could do to change that, no matter how many bottles I drank, how many pills I took, how many scars I left, nothing makes it go away, but you.
You lost control, you need to take it back. Stop fighting it, stop fighting yourself.
Out of everything in my useless, pathetic life, my rape, is the only thing, that doesn’t hurt me; anymore.