Being a bisexual woman.

When I was younger, I was only attracted to women, sexually and emotionally.

Apart from the obvious sexual attraction to women, I thought I was a lesbian due to the hatred I had to men, I despised anyone with a penis. The male figures in my life had hurt me, and I was young and naive enough to assume that all men deserve to be in that category, no one had shown me different, but in all honesty, I never allowed a male the chance.

Throughout my teen years, I dated several women, enjoying life, accepting my sexuality.

It was when I was 17, that I met an amazing human being, a lovely boy. So kind, and genuine. I started to want to be with him, as much as I could. He was always so patient with me, caring and understanding. He was my soundboard, allowing me to share my secrets, my pain, my fears. I let him do the same.

The time we spent together, I forced to suppress and hide my feelings towards him, feeling nothing but confused by my desire to be with a man sexually, when I had convinced myself that I was a lesbian.

I ended up confessing, thinking I was cunning by referring to the guy I was wanting as another man, asking him to help me understand what I was feeling, and ease my confusion.

I was shocked when he so easily blurted out that I was bisexual, a sexual orientation that I had never heard of before. (I grew up in a very small country town)

That boy and I were in a relationship for several months, before I was kicked out of home, and we sadly drifted apart.

Now fully understanding my sexual orientation, and exploring sexual partners. I was finally truly comfortable with who I sexually was, until I had to start defending myself.

“no, I’m not just trying to have the best of both worlds

“No, I’m not trying to figure out what I want or who I am, I’m not confused

Ever since there was a rise in popularity with saying your bisexual, I felt less and less more confident to say I was a bisexual.

I have had people say to me before, “kissing a girl at a party when you’re drunk, doesn’t make you a lesbian”

Really. really seriously?

It seemed it became the fashionable thing to do, as a woman. Say you like girls too! It was annoying me, and I started receiving shit for it.

People would often look confused and belittle me if I declined a request of a threesome.

I met men that assumed I was going to bring a woman into the picture, and we will both submit ourselves to him. (Not that I don’t enjoy this, but this was mentioned the first time we were getting intimate with eachother, and it’s nothing but a turnoff.)

When discussing with friends or associates about my sexual orientation, I was often met with a half-assed attitude, and told to get over it, or make up my mind.

It’s so frustrating. It’s not about making up my mind. I am sexually attracted to women, and I am sexually attracted men. I do not prefer women over men, or vice-versa, and it is not something that I enjoy hearing that you’re talking about, behind my back, with your opinion of which gender I prefer.

My supposed friends are all for equal rights. They like to point that out to prove they are a good person whenever the to on is right.

They say the understand that being a homosexual, or a lesbian, (or various other sexual orientation) isn’t something a person can choose.

I don’t understand how the hypocrites can even suggest that I just choose, or think it’s appropriate to give me advice of which gender that I should decide apon, and which will be preferable. Like, having children, or make jokes about how being with a woman will be easier because there will be no “manly” smells and issues in the house.

I have spoke to them individually, explaining how I feel when they talk about, they literally brush it off. Like I was an idiotic confused girl.

It’s been over six years, since fully understanding my sexuality, and I’m not going to change.

While I am only one woman, who is a bisexual, I’m reaching out to see, if other bisexuals have been ridiculed, bulled or questioned, been taunted about your sexual orientation, or treated like you were confused.

How did you explain to love ones and friends about being bisexual?

Do you often feel that your sexuality is treated as a joke?

When did you find out that you were bisexual?


4 thoughts on “Being a bisexual woman.

  1. I came out as bi this past January. (I was 46) My husband said it was just a phase. My online love’s first words were, “No, you’re not”. Then he proceeded to tell me that I wasn’t bi until I’ve had sex with a woman. My sister said it was the devil, and I “needed to get right”. My other sister spouted the “hate the sin, love the sinner” crap. (Just for the record, I believe God made me this way, and there is no choice, and no sin involved.)
    My best friend is a bisexual man. He has helped me immensely in accepting who I am. I love him for that. My oldest nephew said he loves me no matter what. And I needed to hear that.

    I’m bisexual. I took me 46 years to open my eyes, and see the signs that were always there. But I’m not confused. Just because I’m a virgin when it comes to female sex, doesn’t mean that I’m not bi. It’s not a phase. I liked looking at female bodies by the time I was 7.

    My husband has more or less accepted it now. But I have the “you can look, but not touch” restriction. He is ok with me talking, and flirting with a lesbian friend. Mainly because he knows she’s too far away to be a threat.

    My online guy has accepted that I’m bi. He actually did some research on his own about bisexuality.

    I’ve had a few shocked reactions to my coming out. Mainly because they’ve known me as a happily married to a man female. But most people have been accepting about it.


    • Thank you for sharing!

      I must admit, until you posted, let’s say I was a little naive, about the ages people “come out” as. I also thought it might be different to open up about your sexuality when you’re older (being because of maturity and understanding, etc)

      And you’re completely right, you don’t have to have sex with the same gender, to have that itch, that desire, and appreciation of another same gender person. Thank you for sharing!


      • I wonder what my life would have been like if I had realized it sooner. But I probably would have committed suicide if I had know when I was young. Being older, it is easier to accept it. I can’t scratch my itch for a relationship with a woman, but at least I can accept that I am attracted to, and can love a woman. It feels natural.


      • Maybe you would be married to someone else?

        Or maybe you just would have had more opportunities to have some sex-capades.

        It does feel natural, and I’m glad that you’ve embraced it. I feel bad for the ones that have picked a side, and hidden themselves. No need to hide, 2014. Love yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

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